Let me share a painful lesson that I, Anand Prakash, learnt early in my career.

I was working at Sterling Copper, hitting my targets, closing deals like a champion-but something strange was happening. My sales would spike for a month, then plummet the next. It was like riding a roller coaster blindfolded.

One day, my mentor pulled me aside and asked, “Anand, when was the last time you called a customer after selling to them?”

I stared blankly. “Why would I call them?” All the sales formalities are over.

He laughed, not unkindly. “That’s why you’re struggling. You’re treating customers like one-night stands instead of marriages.”

Crude? Perhaps. But it was the wake-up call I needed.

In this industry, a transaction isn’t just an exchange of goods or services. It’s the beginning of a relationship. Think about it: would you rather walk into a store where the salesperson greets you by name and remembers your preferences, or one where you’re treated like a walking wallet? The personal connection makes all the difference.

The hard numbers back this up. Acquiring a new customer costs five to seven times more than retaining an existing one. Research from Bain & Company shows that increasing customer retention by just 5% can boost profits by a minimum 25%. And loyal customers spend roughly 67% more than new ones.

But beyond the statistics, there’s a simple human truth: we all want to feel valued. When we do, we come back. We tell our friends. We become advocates. In today’s world of endless options and minimal product differentiation, the relationship you build often becomes the deciding factor.

So how do you transform transactional interactions into meaningful relationships? Let me show you.

I’ve developed a framework for building customer relationships called RELATE. There are six elements in this framework: Respect, Engage, Listen, Adapt, Trust and Empathise.

Respect their intelligence

Years ago, when I was selling Honda motorcycles, a customer asked my colleague about the mileage on a sports bike. He snickered and replied, “Sir, it’s a sports bike, not an autorickshaw. Nobody buys it for the mileage.”

The customer quietly left and, we learnt later, bought from our competitor.

The lesson? Every question deserves respect-even the ones that seem trivial to you. What might seem like a basic question to an expert like you represents a genuine concern for your customer.

Showing respect means:

• Answering every question patiently, no matter how basic

• Acknowledging their expertise in their own field

• Never making them feel foolish for asking.

Remember: your customer isn’t stupid, they’re just not an expert in your product. And they shouldn’t have to be.

Engage meaningfully

Picture this scenario: you’ve just bought an expensive watch. The next day, you receive five promotional emails about other watches. The day after, three more arrive in your inbox. By the end of the week, you’re ready to block the sender.

Sound familiar? This is engagement without meaning – noise that pushes customers away rather than pulling them closer.

Meaningful engagement means connecting with purpose:

• Send information that’s useful, not just promotional

• Reach out through their preferred channels (some prefer WhatsApp, others email)

• Time your communications thoughtfully-not too frequent, not too sparse.

I’ve found that the sweet spot is reaching out once every two to three weeks with something genuinely valuable-whether it’s usage tips, relevant industry news or a personalised offer based on their past purchases.

Remember the adage, Out of sight, out of mind? For sales, I add: “In sight too often, out of patience.”

Listen actively

At Maruti Suzuki, I worked with a dealership sales executive named Parag who had an uncanny ability to remember everything a customer said – not just about cars but about their lives, families and concerns.

It wasn’t a superhuman skill. His secret was that he actually listened.

Most salespeople aren’t listening; they’re just waiting for their turn to speak. They hear the words but miss the meaning. True listening is about understanding the customer’s underlying needs, not just their stated requirements.

Try these listening techniques:

• Ask open-ended questions like “What challenges are you facing with your current solution?”

• Repeat what you’ve heard to confirm understanding.

• Notice non-verbal cues; sometimes what they don’t say tells you more than what they do.

I once had a customer who kept asking about the durability of a certain material. I could have just quoted specifications, but by listening closely, I realised he was actually concerned about his children damaging the product. This insight allowed me to address his real concern: peace of mind, not technical specs.

Adapt your approach

Does one size fit all? Maybe for cheap T-shirts but definitely not for customer relationships.

Customers broadly fall into four communication styles, and we have to tailor our conversations with them accordingly:

• The Direct: They want facts, figures, and efficiency

• The Analytical: They need details, data and demonstrations

• The Expressive: They respond to stories, enthusiasm and the big picture

• The Amiable: They value personal connection, reassurance and harmony.

Your job is to spot which type you’re dealing with and adapt accordingly. When I’m speaking with a Direct type, I keep my communication brief and to the point. With an Analytical customer, I come prepared with specific data and detailed answers.

Adaptation isn’t manipulation; it’s meeting customers where they are, speaking their language and making them comfortable.

Trust through transparency

I was managing automotive sales in 2008 when the economic downturn began to affect all industries. Supply chain issues hit us hard, and delivery times doubled overnight.

We had two choices: be vague about delivery timelines (hoping things would improve) or be transparent about the delays.

We chose transparency. We called every customer, explained the situation and offered options: wait with a small compensation for the delay, or cancel their order with no penalty.

Empathise genuinely

When a customer is frustrated, their emotions often speak louder than their words. Recognising and acknowledging them is empathy.

I remember a customer who was furious about a delayed delivery. Instead of becoming defensive or offering excuses, I simply said, “I understand this is frustrating. If I were in your position, I’d be upset too. Let’s figure out how we can make this right?”

The tension dissolved immediately. He still wanted his issue resolved, but the emotional temperature dropped significantly.

Empathy statements that work:

• “I understand how frustrating this must be…”

• “I can see why this would be concerning…”

• “You have every right to be disappointed…”

Empathy doesn’t mean you have to fix everything immediately. Sometimes, people just need to know they’ve been heard and understood.

Excerpted with permission from 13 Steps to Bloody Good Sales, Ashwin Sanghi, Anand Prakash, and Rohit Goel, Westland.

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